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Turbo-charged presenter Jeremy Clarkson was left red in the face today when pranksters found him asleep on a beach in the Isle of Man.
Clarkson, who has a holiday home on the island, was enjoying the sun when he fell into a deep sleep, leaving his face, feet and hands painfully burnt.
Worse was to come for the unlucky broadcaster, however, when pranksters spied Clarkson and spelt out an insult in sun cream on his forehead.
The self-confessed ‘Petrol Head’ didn’t notice the unfortunate markings until he arrived at the local airport to fly back to London.
“Everyone was pointing and laughing,” said Arthur Berent, head of airport security. “Mr. Clarkson became quite irate.”
“Anyone who finds this funny is a puerile idiot who rides a bicycle,” Clarkson was heard fuming.
“This is no doubt the work of some extremist group like Greenpeace. Well if those eco-mentalists think this is going to silence me they have another thing coming! I’m going to buy and massive bit of the Amazon then napalm it! I’m going to take more pointless airplane journeys than any man in history! I will never, ever turn off a light switch again! Do you hear me!? Ever!”